I am married to an old man now thanks to his diabetes. He looks old and he acts old. He is tired all the time, sleeps on and off 24 hours a day, takes dozens of pills a day, needs insulin and blood tests, He is always cold and wants the windows closed and the heat pushed way up high. He no longer skis, plays golf, sails or goes out at night. He can not work. He can not do anything by himself any more. He goes to bed after supper. He wants me to take care of him 24/7.
He has constant medical appointments and tests and he wants me there at all of them. He makes old people noises with his gastric, sleep and respiratory problems. He smells old despite daily showers. He walks like an old man with a shuffling gate.
He acts like he is in his 80s even though he is in his early sixties. When I think of my dad at that age, he was working and enjoying life. My grandfather worked full time until almost 90.
One frightening thing happened this week, his seven year oldersibling was placed, by a spouse of many years who could no longer cope, in a nursing home due to Parkinson's and diabetes. Is this what I have to look forward too?
Sar,
ReplyDeleteI also feel that I am married to an old man much of the time, and he is in his mid-fifties. Diabetes has robbed him/us of so much. I do have to wonder at what point will it get so bad that a nursing home has to be considered. Is there ever a time that you can get some respite, whether it be some time alone, or with friends? Sounds like you REALLY REALLY NEED it! I know it helps me when I can get away, even for a little while.
Take care,
Lilly
I get short periods of respite during the day, only in short chunks of time since his insulin is a dinner time and bed time, 5 and 9 pm. My escapes are work related or with couple of old friends for lunch. He is with me always when the kids visit. I visit Mom alone.
ReplyDeleteI do not know about the when of needing a nursing home. It all depends on how diabetes progresses and how much harm it does and how quickly. I see normal functioning people at the famous diabetes hospital and I see people who are in very tough shape. Is luck, care or genes. Who knows. his father was also insulin diabetic and did well until his early 80s. In his sixties FIL was a respected active professional who practiced until about age 80 and then had a stroke. H seems and looks more like an 80+ year old version of his dad.
Hi! Welcome to the Group!
ReplyDeleteMy blog will refer to you tonight!
You are awesome!
Now I understand the meaning of the word "Raging"
This is a scary disease
and there is NO RESPECT for the caregiver/spouse
none of us can imagine ...
cleaning horrible bathrooms
staying in a "disfunctional" marriage
whatever
but its not like it happens suddenly
its gradual, right?
you do what you have to do
and all of a sudden, 40 years later
here you are
scared, worrying about money,
... and cleaning bathrooms.
the life of a diabetic's wife
good luck
we are all with you
and glad you are sharing with us
Tom's Wife
Thanks, Tom's Wife. I appreciate the support. It is so gradual, until the last two years. He got violently ill the night my mom fractured her hip. She was in one bed in the ER, he was in the next. Little did I know, that I was stepping into the fires.
ReplyDeleteSar,
ReplyDeleteWondering if there is anyone else you could get to occasionally administer insulin to him so that you could get more of a reprieve once in a while. Thinking you really need it!
Hugs to you,
Lilly