I get fearful thinking about the future and what it may bring. My grandmother used to say it is not the things that you worry about that will harm you, it is the things you never worry about that will get you. My fears are many. First and foremost is what will his health be like as the years go on. Will I be able to care for him both physically and financially. If I out live him, as most statistics show, how old will I be if and when that occurs and how will I support myself.
The medicaid folks call this spend down and spending down and down is what is happening to us. My standard of living has declined greatly as have also my finances. At the rate we are going, unless I hit the lottery (more likely to get hit on the head by a meteoroid) we will be broke in 10 years or less. Savings accounts earn nothing, gas prices are outrageous and everything from food to clothes keeps going up. I wonder if I should deliberately impoverish us now and make transfers considering the 5 year look back so that if he needs nursing home care, we will not lose everything.
I think of where I will be should I survive him We now live in senior housing due to his lack of working and his medical condition. We pay market rates since we are considered "affluent". How I miss my own home!!! I do not feel like a "senior" needing senior housing. I am too young for this. I want to live like a "normal" adult not a "senior" . I prefer doing the things I have always done, working, living not as an elderly person. This is actually a different type of prison. I want the freedom to not be considered elderly like him.
The home I own is 100 miles from here away from family and friends. If something were to happen and he no longer lived here such as requiring care would I leave and move to my house? I do not know. I just desperately want my old house here back. I can no longer afford to buy it back or a similar home or even a lesser home back. That is thanks to the diabetes and lack of income.
What kind of a mess am I looking forward to in the future thanks to diabetes?
As scary as it may seem, you are really smart to be thinking about what may be down the road for both of you. I know a lot of people do transfer money and property because of that 5 year (or is it 7 now?) look-back, but not sure how it might work in your case. Definitely something to think about. I also know that after we talked to an elder law lawyer when my mom was going to need nursing home care, my father was instructed to sign a paper stating that it would impoverish him if he had to pay for her care, and this made her eligible for Medicaid. There is (or at least was?) a law that the remaining spouse can NOT be left destitute. Definitely worth looking into.
ReplyDeleteTake care, and try to get some sleep tonight,
Lilly